Day 18

Busy, busy, busy!
I think I'm finally getting caught up... and hopefully that will give me more energy.

Eating went ok today.

A Lara bar for breakfast... a salad with turkey for lunch.

A teammate from out of town wanted to have dinner, so we headed to a restaurant after work.
She was very interested in my Whole30 experience (a lot of people in our organization actually eat paleo)

We both ended up having salads topped with avocado, bacon, and lobster.
The food was tasty and the company was awesome. I always love spending time with work friends - I work with some amazing people.

When I finally got home, I was feeling a little hungry (the salad wasn't super filling)
But I overdid it with the snacking and was just eating to eat because I was tired.

I'm still going strong on Whole30 choices, but I need to be stronger when I'm feeling tired and worn out.
Eating will not make me feel better... a good nights sleep, maybe... or some yoga for relaxation.

So, I will try to redirect my mind (even when my brain is worn out) to use other resources besides food to deal with low energy levels and stress.

Let's consider Day 18 a refocusing.

Day 17

I am wiped out. Work has been crazy and I'm running out of steam a little bit.
BUT, I have had plenty of energy during the work day (when I need it most)

I am so glad that my energy level is not being dragged down by unhealthy food.
I can only imagine what a tough spot I would be in if I wasn't trying to take care of myself and fuel my body better.

An apple with almond butter has been my go to breakfast this week.

For lunch today, I enjoyed a big salad with avocado and turkey.

And with that, I worked the rest of the day without a problem.

Not even a big piece of birthday cake covered in frosting could mess me up.
(It was someone's birthday at the business across the hall and someone was nice enough to think of me and bring me a piece of cake)

I didn't have the heart to refuse... so I took the ginormous slice of temptation and set it right on my desk.

I could smell the sugar.
So. Much. Sugar.

And I looked at the layer upon layer of pastel colored icing.

I felt guilty not eating it because someone had given it to me... and I do not like wasting food.

But then I realized I didn't want to eat it. I wasn't even tempted to eat it.
The only thing that was driving me to consume that cake was my desire to people-please.
(It really is fascinating how connected my personality is to my eating patterns)

So today I learned: I do not have to put anything in my body that I don't want to.
And as hard as that is when people give me things out of kindness/thoughtfulness, I need to always remember that.

I am the only person who should control what I put in my body.

Let's consider Day 17 empowering.

Day 16

Not a super exciting day.

An apple with almond butter for breakfast.

Left over paleo shrimp pad thai for lunch from last night.

I found the recipe in 'Well Fed' - it uses spaghetti squash instead of noodles.

Not too bad!

My day was so busy, I was exhausted by the time I got home.

Eggs for protein and roasted sweet potatoes.

I think I overdid it on the sweet potatoes... 

I ate while I was watching TV.

Bad idea.

When I eat while having my focus elsewhere, I miss the signals my body sends me to tell me I'm full.

I've never been a good multitasker (although I can pat my head and rub my tummy)

So I ended up feeling super full..

That combined with already feeling worn out shot my energy for the evening.

(Thank you Law & Order: SVU Marathon for keeping my lazy self entertained for the evening)

Tomorrow, it's back to the table for meals - no excuses.

Let's consider Day 16 a new lesson.

Day 15

HALFWAY THERE!!!!!

It's hard to believe I'm at the halfway point already!

This has been an awesome journey so far.
I feel fantastic about myself already... I can't wait for 15 more days to go by... and even a few months.

I think this has truly been the catalyst for a lifestyle change.

My energy level is improving. I still get worn out, but it's not the same.
There is a big difference between needing to rest from a hard week of work and needing to pass out from a food coma.

My skin and hair look AmAzInG.
My face is so clear and soft, and my hair is super smooth and shiny.

I can feel that I'm losing weight - which is a very, very good thing.
My poor body wants to be in a healthy place so bad. When I finally start treating it right, it drops weight like it's nobody's business... the skinny girl inside just wants to get out!!!

But it's not all about the number on the scale. Just being healthier in general is what I'm after.
(A lower weight, though, is a vital part of that... doctor's orders.)

I think I've gotten the hang of the food stuff (for the most part), so it's time to kick it up a notch.

In honor of it being the halfway point and with the goal of a healthier state of being, I have finally decided to add in an exercise goal!

I already have a gym membership, so that makes life easy.
Three times a week, I must get my butt to the gym (possibly more if I have the time)

I headed over there before dinner today and spent some time on the treadmill.

Walking on an incline is what I will start with - my knees and shins do not really care for running at the moment... who knows if they will ever care for it.

I'm going to start of slow and work my way up.

As I get in better shape, I'll add more components... possibly some light lifting, maybe a fun zumba class.

All I know is that I am so super excited about being healthy.

Let's consider Day 15 an added challenge.

Day 14

What a lovely, restful day.

I let myself sleep in (which made me sleep through breakfast)

Eventually, I needed to get up because I was meeting a few friends for lunch and a movie.
My one friend gave me an out - saying I could just meet them for the movie if that would be easier on me.

No need.
I can handle this!

We met up at Mitchell's Fish Market (seafood is my favorite!)

A lot of the items on the menu had components that I couldn't have.
So I made it up as I ordered.

Grilled tilapia and mixed vegetables... asparagus substituted for smashed red potatoes... hold the shallot butter.

Yes the fish tacos, sandwiches and french fries that surrounded me smelled delicious.
But I had my own plate full of food to work on - and I cleaned up shop.

It was healthy, clean, and yummy.

My tummy was fine throughout the afternoon.

When I got home, I spent some time in the kitchen.
I worked on preparing a few things for the freezer and FINALLY got to cook a tasty, well-balanced meal.

Skillet steak seasoned with salt and pepper, a little bit of salad, and sweet potatoes.

The sweet potatoes were awesome!

I sliced the sweet potato "semi thinly" and quartered the disks.

Then I tossed them in a little bit of coconut oil, salt, pepper, and onion powder.

Bake on a cookie sheet lined with foil at 350 for 30 minutes (stirring around every 10 minutes to prevent burning)

It felt soooooooo good to have time to cook.

And it was nice to have a well planned meal after a week of running around like a crazy person.

A nice deep breath and a relaxing day.

Let's consider Day 14 a much needed rest.

Day 13

Thank goodness it's Friday.
This week has been so busy, finding time to cook was nearly impossible.

But, I managed to channel my inner-chef to whip out a quick dinner this evening.

After work, I had about 40 minutes to freshen up, change, and make dinner happen before heading to the church's youth group bowling night.

I hadn't really cooked all week and I really didn't want just eggs again.
I decided on meatballs using a package of ground turkey.

Mix 1 lb of ground turkey, 1/2 cup of almond meal/flour, 2 eggs (probably could have gotten away with one), about 1/2 cup of fresh parsley, garlic, minced onion, and pepper.

Roll into balls and toss in a pan.



I made mine pretty small so they would cook quickly.
Meanwhile, I defrosted a container of tomato sauce.

I raced to get ready - running back and forth between my room and the kitchen.
Finally ready to go and meatballs fully cooked, I tossed a few in a bowl with tomato sauce.

A Lara bar on the road to the bowling alley kept me feeling full throughout bowling and being surrounded by cheese fries, pizza, and candy.

This week was a little more difficult - not with wanting to make good choices, but with being able to create well rounded meals with limited time.
I'm really looking forward to hitting the grocery store and having a more solid menu and plan for next week.

Let's consider Day 13 a TGIF moment.

Day 12

Day 12 went a little better than yesterday, but still not fantastic.

The workday seems to be perfectly fine - I am not tempted by the snacks in the office or the restaurants in the building.

I am perfectly happy with the breakfast and lunch that I bring... while not being obsessed with when I am going to eat next.

The thing that seems to be the issue is after work.

Today is the second day of being a little out of wack.

I started as a leader for my church's youth group tonight - which meets at 6:30.
I had just enough time to get home, throw some eggs in a pan, change, eat, and head out the door again with a Lara bar in hand for the road.

I was fine all through the evening until I headed home.

I started thinking about what I needed to prep for lunch tomorrow.

When I got home, I ended up in the kitchen cooking shrimp for lunch the next day... and I was a little hungry, so I had a snack as well (I know, shrimp as a snack... super random)

I haven't been eating later into the evening, so this was a big deviation.

I know from yesterday (and now today) that I really need to plan things out better.
Hopefully I can find some time this weekend to create a more structured approach to next week.

Let's consider Day 12 a slight improvement.

Day 11

Today I kind of got a little off balance.

I did not violate Whole30, but I didn't manage my eating as well as I should have.

I ate my last egg cups last Friday, so I didn't really have anything prepped for breakfast today.
An apple with almond butter was what I settled on.

As I tried to dig out from under all of the things I needed to accomplish and the endless emails that filtered into my work account, the hours kept ticking by.

I looked up and it was 1:30 - not hungry yet.
I'll wait a little bit.

3:00 - still not really hungry.
I'll wait a little bit longer.

4:30 - again, not hungry... and there's no point eating now.
I'll just get something quick when I get home before going to Bible study.

Eggs and bacon... no veggies.
Hmmm... pistachios sound good.

And I suddenly became aware of the fact that I wasn't hungry... but I was still eating the yummy pistachios.

Dang-it.

Eating for eating sake/the pure enjoyment of it is not allowed.
It is completely contradictory to what I want to be doing.

I think it largely has to do with the fact that I was out of an eating routine.
Essentially, I was freelancing my eating.
And with me, that is not a good idea - it throws me completely off kilter.

Especially with today's example, I have concluded that I stay on track better if I have a rough idea of what my meals are going to be throughout the day and week - that way, I can stick to the plan.
And any deviation from the 'big picture plan' is minor (like trail mix for a snack if lunch isn't getting me to dinner)

But if I give myself completely freedom and wing it, who knows what or how much I will end up eating.

I still feel like I'm doing well and feeling great, but now we know... I need to have a plan.
(Or at least a vague outline)

Let's consider Day 11 a (re)balancing act.

Day 10

One-third of the way there!!!!!

I only have 20 days left of my Whole30!
That certainly does not mean that I will stop eating healthy and go back to the way things were.
I felt terrible!

But I'm feeling pretty great now (aside from a little difficulty sleeping - which is probably attributed to staying up a little too late watching tv)

I'm settling into a routine of making good choices.
Breakfast is easy. Since I wasn't a breakfast person from the start, adding a little something with protein was pretty simple - and I don't feel deprived by the new choices because I usually didn't have anything at all that early in the day.

Lunch is lunch... usually not terribly exciting, but well planned.
Today I made lettuce wraps with turkey, avocado, spinach, olive oil, and big pieces of iceberg lettuce.

Dinner is an interesting time - sometimes I want to cook and other times, I don't really have too much of an opinion about it.
I wasn't even ready to eat when I got home.
I didn't head to the kitchen until 8:00ish tonight - I just wasn't hungry.

But I knew I needed to put something in my stomach.
Eggs, bacon, and an apple with some almond butter.

The healthy choices are tasty and delicious - but the difference is my mind is not freaking out about when I'm going to eat next, what I'm going to eat, what I could be eating, etc.

Wow.

I just realized how much more brain power I have just by working to eliminate this obsession with food.
It's like there's so much more room in my mind to think about other things - like I've cleared out a bunch of files that were outdated and irrelevant. And with that new space, I can work on other things.

Or even relax.

For me, I think Whole30 is not only cleansing my body, but cleansing my mind as well.

Let's consider Day 10 refreshing.

Day 9

I always forget how wonderful it is to wake up and have someone else making you breakfast.

Over-easy eggs and fresh fruit with my parents and grandmother to start off the last day of my Easter visit.

Once the car was loaded up and I said my goodbyes, I began another 4 hour car ride back home.
A cooler packed in the car with a lettuce wrap (turkey, avocado, salt, pepper, and Tuscan herb olive oil all wrapped up in a big piece of iceberg lettuce), some carrots, and water got me through the drive much smoother than I thought.

Once I got to my apartment, I got settled, brought my bags in, thought about taking a nap, and ended up watching Hairspray.

When my tummy started telling me it was dinner time, I went to the freezer and pulled out some leftover spaghetti squash and tomato sauce.

Unfortunately, the magical vegetable that is spaghetti squash does not freeze as well as I had anticipated.
It was certainly edible, but I think from now on I will have spaghetti squash leftovers immediately (from the fridge rather than the freezer)

I ended my meal with some freeze-dried fruit that I had gotten in my Easter basket.

A pretty uneventful day.
I think I'm starting to settle in to this new lifestyle of mine.

Let's consider Day 9 comfortable.

Day 8

Happy Easter!!!

Today was the first major holiday I experienced since committing to a new eating lifestyle.
Pretty quick for this to come up, but I'll take the challenge.

Holiday traditions have usually been highlighted by food for me.

I love Christmas because it's Jesus' birthday, I get to spend time with my family... and eat yummy food.
I love my birthday because I'm a nut about birthdays... and I get to pick the yummy food.
I love Easter because it is the most important part of salvation and grace, my family is together again... and I get a basket full of yummy food.

The common thread of family time can certainly stay, but the preoccupation with food has got to go.

My family did an amazing job supporting me today.

The Easter meal - usually one focused on ham (secretly laden with sugar), mashed potatoes, and other forms of carbs - was magically transformed into a mostly Whole30 approved meal.

I filled my plate with herb crusted, grilled pork chops, asparagus, peas, and roasted sweet potatoes.

For the non-paleo eaters at the table, there were rolls and butter... and my mom made an amazing looking key lime angel food cake with coconut icing.
Those items, I could only look at. But I didn't feel any sort of loss because my tummy was full of all the other yummy things that had been made.

My grandmother was shocked that I refused dessert and even asked my mom if I was ok.
(Just goes to show you how much of a habitual poor eater I was)
A quick brief on my current health endeavor relieved all worries, though... and soon enough, I think everyone will be able to see that I am more than ok.

The next Easter hurdle to overcome was the Easter basket.
Yes, I am a 22 year old, full grown adult and I still get an Easter basket when I go to my parents' house - one that I must search high and low to find.
No shame.

This lovely tradition usually results in a bag full of chocolate and candy and yummy-ness forced into the shapes of bunnies and eggs.
I was curious what my bag would have in it this time.
Can't have chocolate.
Can't have candy.
Yummy-ness is possible, but the forms are limited.

When I finally found my bag (hidden in the dryer of all places), I was delighted to find non-edible items.
My parents... I mean... the Easter Bunny... had, indeed, given me some snack items (dried fruit, almond butter, etc.), but I also found nail polish, lip gloss, and other fun things.

It wasn't all about food.
And that was so important this time around.

I don't want every enjoyable tradition or holiday that I look forward to throughout the year to revolve around what food I get to eat or what goodies I can  finally enjoy.
I want the focus to be on the reason for the day and the people I get to spend it with.

I didn't die today because I didn't eat jellybeans or a chocolate bunny.
In fact, I probably feel much better than I would have if I did.

It truly demonstrated that a holiday can still be a holiday even if you make healthy food choices and don't have a piece of cake.

Let's consider Day 8 a very Happy Easter.

Day 7

Today brought a new perspective to my "newly defined" relationship with food.

I've been at this for a week now, and I already feel great... I've given 110% to doing this right.

But to be honest, I'm discovering that being an overachiever in this situation may not be such a good thing.

When I cleaned out my pantry, the only things left were natural applesauce and cashews. For some reason, I didn't bother to check the ingredients on the cashews - until a few days into Whole30.
I discovered (to my perfectionist horror) that the delicious nuts I had been using in my trail mix were roasted in vegetable oils that I wasn't supposed to be eating.

I felt so guilty, I actually dumped out a freshly made bag of trail mix and proceeded to pick out every single one of those devious little nuts.
I even considered restarting my whole 30, but decided against it.

Today, my family and I walked around downtown and ended up at a local restaurant for lunch.
Thinking I was being 'good' I asked for a tonic water with lime - a discussion on the difference between tonic and soda water once again brought me to a terrible realization.
Tonic water apparently contains added sugar... which I'm not supposed to have... I meant to ask for soda water.

Deep breath.
I had only taken a few sips.

What I ordered for lunch, I thought, was a completely acceptable choice.

A turkey burger with avocado, lettuce, tomato, and red onion minus the bun and cheese, with a side of mixed veggies.

What could be wrong with that?

A couple of bites into the vegetables, my brain processed why they tasted so yummy - butter.

I'm screwing up left and right... I've messed it up... Do I have to start over?

I was border-line panicking inside - I had read that even a little bit of something can mess up the process.
I didn't think I would be able to handle the setback of going back to Day 1.
But my perfectionism was forcing me to consider that... and maybe, way in the back of my head, consider throwing in the towel. Since I obviously couldn't attain perfection in this, why should I keep on trying only to fail?

Thank goodness for my mom.
She really put it in perspective for me.

As we stood in the aisle of Wegman's later that day looking at various bags of stupid cashews, she wondered aloud if perhaps my approach to this was too strict.
That by being so legalistic about every little thing, I was once again obsessing over food.

Now, I'm a strict rule follower - always have been and probably always will be (minus the time I turned right on red even though there was a sign that said not too. I was feeling daring that day)

And with that in mind, I realized something - I was afraid that if I didn't follow every single little rule exactly, everything would crumble... like a single loose tile in a mosaic that, once pulled free by curious fingers, causes the whole masterpiece to crash to the ground. Completely destroyed.

I need to re-frame my view on this.  The choices I am making now are a complete 180 from the choices I was making before - in fact, I don't even recognize the person in the grocery store buying mostly vegetables and no junk food. (But I like her, so I'll let her stay)

I am already healthier. I am making good decisions that will help my body get to the state it needs to be in - whether or not there is a tiny bit of added sugar in the bacon at breakfast or vegetable oil used to roast the cashews I eat occasionally as a snack.

Rather than the fragile mosaic that puts all the pressure on one tile, each nutritionally sound decision I make is a single brushstroke on a never-ending masterpiece.  It is a work of art that is constantly changing by each bright pigment added and each layer of paint that is put onto the canvas.

There should be no fear of destroying the whole work of art because each brushstroke is followed by another... and another... and another.
The failures and mistakes add depth, while the successes and triumphs add brilliance and color.

The whole purpose of this lifestyle change is to break free from the hold food has on me.
By worrying about every little additive and what may or may not have been used to prepare my meal was starting to create the same stress and anxiety that had driven me to binge eat in the first place.

Food (whether it is healthy or not) CANNOT be an obsession.
Trying to control every little detail and micromanage every cooking experience defeats the whole purpose of this plan for me.

I will not let food control me.

Let's consider Day 7 a new brushstroke.

Day 6

Day 6 was a busy day.

I took off early from work to make the 4 hour drive to see my family for Easter.
Usually the turnpike would be fast food heaven - the break stops on this route are the perfect environment for poor food choices and lattes so full of sugar and syrups that they really shouldn't be considered coffee.

The good thing was, I knew this... and had prepared for my trek through nutritionally dangerous territory.
Along with my duffel bag of clothes, I had brought Whole30-friendly snacks and bottled water.

When I did stop to fill up with gas, etc., I was able to cruise through Sheetz, take care of business, and not fall into the convenience store food traps.
(I actually didn't even get into the snacks I had packed - lunch and the constant flow of water I consumed during my long drive kept my tummy feeling fine until I pulled into my parents' driveway)

Being back, I did notice something.
I am a creature of habit... and although I may not necessarily feel a craving for something, I would reach for things almost as a conditioned response.

Sodas in the garage refrigerator (where they always are)... snacks in the top cupboard...

My hands knew where to reach without my mind having to do any work.

I was afraid I would suddenly realize I was eating something that I had just picked up, without even thinking.
A very odd thing to become aware of.

But overall, I don't think the weekend away from the "Whole30" box I live in back at my home is going to be too much of a struggle.
My family is very understanding and encouraging... My mom basically has paleo meals planned for everything (she's fantastic - love you Mom)

So as I wind down from the day, I am not only feeling good about my food choices today... I am feeling good about being back with my family - the people who understand me most in life and who (I think) are very excited about my new commitment to taking care of myself.

Let's consider Day 6 a lovely homecoming.

Day 5

Two words.

Spaghetti Squash.

Sweet heaven on earth... where have you been all my life?!

I used to be a super picky eater when I was a kid. As I've gotten older, I have tried to add in more things.

With this new lifestyle change, I knew I would need to be even more open to eating so many different things I had never tried before (so I wouldn't be stuck having lettuce every single day)

I am so glad I did.  There are so many delicious things that, up until this point, I had simply ignored.

Like the previous 4, Day 5 has been pretty smooth sailing.

Without the panic for food, I decided to once again test my cooking abilities.

I had picked up a spaghetti squash when shopping (not even knowing what the heck to do with it)

Google really helped me out there (virtual high five Google)

All you do is cut it in half, scoop out the seeds, sprinkle with a little olive oil, salt and pepper, and toss in the oven at 450 for 45ish minutes.

While the squash roasted, I tried my hand at homemade tomato sauce.

Sauteed garlic and minced onions... oregano, thyme, salt, pepper, Italian seasoning... crushed tomatoes, a little bit of tomato paste... simmer on low heat and you are good to go.

Add some browned ground beef and you have a yummy sauce!

When the timer on the stove beeped, I wasn't really sure what to expect. I pulled the squash out and let it cool for a while.

Then I took a fork to it.

Oh. My. Goodness. It looks like pasta. 

I know it's called spaghetti squash and all, but I guess I was a little skeptical.

I tossed some in a bowl, poured the sauce on top, sprinkled it with some extra oregano, and sat down to the most delicious meal I've had all week.

(And I've eaten some pretty tasty things)

I was so excited, I called my sister to proudly tell her what I was eating.

(She eats paleo, so I consider her my guru for paleo recipes and tricks)

I actually felt a little guilty for enjoying it so much... it felt like I was eating carb filled pasta. 

But I wasn't. My healthy decision turned out to be a healthy AND delicious decision.

The only thing I can say is that God has truly blessed this journey so far.

I was so afraid to take the first few steps and truly commit to a lifestyle change - I guess I figured I was so far gone, I would fail within a day or two, so why even bother with the struggle and guilt? 

I'm discovering that making healthy choices that are good for my body can be an even more positive experience than making bad choices that only temporarily satisfy me.

I hope that I can continue on through the remaining 25 days in this same mindset. 

Let's consider Day 5 a culinary adventure.

Day 4

I've been waking up every morning feeling pretty great.
The day has gone smoothly... lunch is well timed... and dinner seems to be there when it should.

And I've been thinking to myself, "What the heck is with all the warnings that I might feel hungover or super tired? I feel pretty good so far."

Well, my friends, that changed a little today.

Everything was going great until about 4pm.  I started to feel a little drowsy.
Then before I knew it, I was completely exhausted.

My eyelids began to droop as I finished up a few things around the office.
When I walked through my apartment door, I didn't even bother with dinner.
I headed straight to my wonderful, beautiful, comfortable, nice, warm bed.

I set an alarm on my phone and pulled the covers up... and I was out.

Twenty minutes later, I heard the annoying bells of my alarm and felt like I had just awoken from a 100-year sleep (not in the good, rested way... in the where am I??? what year is it??? way)
I snoozed that bad boy and turned over... shunning the annoying phone that had disturbed my slumber.

But 10 more minutes was all I had time for.

I struggled to make a quick dinner - just some eggs.
I wasn't really feeling that hungry.

Then I headed out the door to a Bible study movie night - making sure to grab a bag of trail mix on my way out. Thanks goodness for that trail mix, because movie night is equated to snack night.

Chips, rice krispie treats, sugary beverages... all things I can't have.
The odd things was, I was ok with not having those snacks that had previously been a regular part of my diet.
I munched on my trail mix and was perfectly happy.

I did feel a slight tug toward the rice krispie treats for a second, but then moved on.
When I got in the car to leave, I felt the familiar pull to grab something on the way home... then I thought Nope, I'm not even hungry, put my car into gear, and drove off.

I can't really describe how utterly shocked I was with myself.
To be able to put those nagging cravings in their place and not act on them was truly miraculous.

It may have had something to do with the fact that was I was still so incredibly, very, very tired.

I had to stop at Walmart on my way home, since I had used up my time before movie night taking a nap.

Now, I'm normally a super happy, friendly person... but as I trudged through the store trying to locate the items I had come in for, I didn't even have the energy to smile at people.

I almost wanted to wear a sign that said "I apologize for looking so grumpy... I owe you a smile."

I didn't feel grumpy... but I am 100% sure my face did not have its usual, happy expression.
Somehow, I made it through the aisles, to the checkout, back in my car, then through the door of my apartment.

So now, here I sit, writing a blog post, because gosh darn it I've committed to blogging about this entire experience.

Even with the slight exhaustion, though, I would have to say it was a good day.
For once, I  felt completely confident in resisting the temptation to make poor food choices.

Let's consider Day 4 a step in the right direction.

Day 3

Today was surprisingly easy.

Breakfast kept me feeling happy until lunch.
Lunch (with enough protein this time) filled my tummy right up.

I didn't even feel hungry until I left work.
I knew I had to cook dinner when I got home, so I munched on some "trail mix" in the car.
(Trail Mix: unsweetened flaked coconut, pistachios, cashews, dried strawberries, dried raspberries)

When I finally got to the kitchen, I was still pretty satisfied with my snack.
No desperate race for food... no panic or anxiety.
The hangry monster has left the building!
Well, at least he's gone out for a bit.

Without the hunger-crazed madness, I decided it was time to unleash my culinary skills in the kitchen.
About an hour later, I had dinner on the table (with enough leftovers for the next day)

Ginger-Lime Chicken and Shrimp - Recipe from the awesome paleo cookbook Well Fed

Mashed Cauliflower - Using fresh, roasted cauliflower made it a little brown... still tasty though!

Roasted Asparagus - This has always been my favorite veggie

I felt like the star of my own Food Network show... ok, maybe I'm not that skilled.

But it felt great to invest time in what I was eating and to make something flavorful and delicious.

I think I was always afraid eating healthy would mean choking down bland salads day in and day out.

Now don't get me wrong, I do like to eat salad (usually my lunch of choice because it's quick and easy to prep the night before), but it can get a little old.

UNLESS you make it more exciting!

It's amazing what the right combo of spices, a sprinkling of seasoned kale chips, or a quick marinade can do to the food before you.

The food I found before me this evening was yummy... and filling.

I got about halfway through my meal when I started feeling full.

I didn't feel the need to finish everything. In fact, I couldn't.

I walked away from the table... leaving food behind... with no desperation for more... with no feeling of panic that I hadn't had enough.

I know there are days ahead that will be difficult.

I am thankful, though, that I caught a bit of a break today.

Let's consider Day 3 a relief.

Day 2

The second day...
It's going to be a bumpy 30 days.

Most of Day 2 was pretty decent. I woke up feeling accomplished, got ready for work, and headed out the door.

My breakfast was 'egg cups' I had made the day before.
Crack one egg into each cup of a muffin tin, scramble, add spinach, bacon and whatever else you want.
Bake for 10-15 minutes at 350. Boom. Pre-made breakfast for a few days.
(There's your Lazy Person Anonymous tip of the week)

A little bit of a headache put a slight damper on my Day 2 confidence, so I made sure to guzzle down bottle after bottle of water.

Lunch seemed far away at first, but a few distractions later, it was time to hit the office kitchen.
The salad I had made the night before was a welcomed sight.
A few encouraging words from my coworkers who knew I had started Whole 30 made my confidence perk up a bit.

Until I realized... I hadn't factored in enough protein to adequately form a meal.

That's alright. No big deal.

Yeah, it was no big deal until it started getting later in the day...
My thoughts were like ping pong balls bouncing all over the place.

I really want cookies.... No you can't have cookies.

Well, if I have cookies today, and then start over...

I'm quitting before I really even started...

Who will really know if I tack on 2 days at the end?

What the heck am I thinking? I would know.

Cookies. And crackers. And french fries.

No, dangit!

Dear Lord, this is only Day 2.

Now, I'm not one susceptible to anger, but I became hangry.

Hangry - the anger and irrational behavior affecting one who is very hungry.

I didn't dare call/talk to anyone I loved until I had gotten home, taken a deep breath, heated up some leftovers, filled my confused tummy, and sat down on the couch next to an open window with the sound of birds chirping in the background.

Whew.

It was a little bit longer of a day than I had anticipated.
But you know what?

I already feel better.

Yes, I had to fight off the hangry monster.

Yes, there were moments in the day when I wanted to stuff my face with whatever I could find.

Yes, I contemplated the 'easier' route that would require less effort (although more problems down the road)

Now let's turn those yes's into no's...

No, I did not let the hangry monster win the battle.

No, I did not put anything harmful or 'unacceptable' into my body.

No, I do not want to give up.

Even with only 2 days of clean eating, I can already feel the difference.

Junk food and fast food and any other type of bad food feels different in your body - even right after you eat it.

I don't feel bad about what is in my stomach.

And although I know I will continue on this roller coaster of confidence and borderline defeat, I am looking forward to tomorrow.

Let's consider Day 2 a battle won.

Day 1

Today marks the first of 30 challenging days.

The focus is simply to make good food choices.

Choices that will fuel my body and give it what it needs.

Breakfast 

I'm not much of a breakfast person, but I need to get on a 'three-meal-a-day' routine.

So, for my fabulous first day of healthiness, I started with some fresh berries, 2 eggs, and bacon.

I took the cooking opportunity to make some components for meals the rest of my week.

(I'll point out a breakfast short cut tomorrow)

Lunch

I ate breakfast a little late and had a few errands to run.

I felt really great about how my day was going... but then my tummy started to tell me I was hungry.

I had a moment of complete panic.

Oh no... I'm already wanting food... I'm not going to be able to do this.

Then I looked at the clock.

It was way past lunch time!!!!!

No wonder I was hungry.

I made a big salad with spinach, butter lettuce, and romaine (I like variety)

Sliced up half an avocado, crumbled up a piece of bacon cooked at breakfast, and sprinkled on a few kale chips for added crunch.

For protein, I sliced up some turkey.

Drizzled with a little olive oil and add a dash of pepper.

Dinner

I was not quite as panicky when dinner time rolled around.

Pork chops rubbed in olive oil and herbs de provence.

Green beans and sweet potatoes sauteed in a little bit of 

clarified butter (ghee), garlic, onion salt, and pepper.

Plenty for leftovers!

Leftovers are going to be my saving grace.

Sometimes, when I get home, I don't feel like cooking.

But, if it's already there waiting for me, I'm good to go!

Let's consider Day 1 a success.

First Blog Post EVER

So this is my first blog experience.
Special thanks to my best friend for suggesting this and helping me with a few things as I get rolling.
Even if you are the only person who reads it, I will be very happy.

Having an accountability partner can be very helpful in any challenging experience.  I'm hoping this little blog of mine will give me that level of accountability.  My friends and family are very curious people, and I know many of them will at least view this once - gotta make sure I give them something interesting to look at!

Wish me luck.